Babies

V:
Ba-len-ci-a-ga
Ni-cho-las Ghes-qui-e-re

These were the first three words that came out of precocious baby Chadwick's mouth. His mother, Lady A of Berkshire Manor, was so proud until she got over it and traded him in for a $2000 designer Ori Pei pug/sharpei pooch she named 'kitten.' A decision, that although it stung, he totally respects and models all of his decisions on today.

Today's schedule

V:
6:45 am - wake up. Have sherpa do my morning yoga routine.
7:45 am - light breakfast consisting of 2 lemon wedges and half of a splenda cube
8 am - Call Chad. Finalize coordinated outfits
9-10 am - go through a few look books and purchase outfits for the following week
11 am - smoke a cigarette, think about my hair
12 pm - have sherpa confirm limo service
12:25 pm: confirm with security that Shattuck Avenue is clear of all hippies, street vermin, low income, middle class and upper middle class people.
1:30 pm: Chadwick arrives
1:40 pm: Have sherpa clear Micro Brewery so we can enjoy our pitcher(s) of beer in peace
2:40 pm: Lunch at Gregoire, where we will order everything on the menu, smell and look at it for 30 minutes before throwing everything back in the cooks face

C:
You forgot our unappreciative sigh at 2:05.

Guest check

C:
Richard Branson just checked into the hotel. God, I hate dealing with the middle class.

Our Sherpas wait for us outside of the Dior tent

V:

The Nepalese one is obviously yours. The one that i saved from the impoverished meatpacking district, mine.

C:

What's your sherpa's name? Mine's Khatamuusamaar. For short, I call him Katie.

Gift Bags

C:
I'm so excited about your party!

V:
Me too! I'm excited you're coming over! Are you going to hide rubies and diamonds in the scones like you did last xmas???

C:
I don't think so. That Dorka Keehn woman threatened to sue after a six carat yellow diamond sliced open her esophagus. Maybe just some platinum sprinkles. Also, the gift bags I'm planning will contain an Esteban Cortezar gown, 2.000 Euros and a brand new farm-raised Malaysian sherpa.

Vocabulary Lesson

V:

You're smart.Could you tell me what these mean? They are a few words I've come accross but not sure....

Richmond/Sunset District
Salvation Army
Discount
Vintage
Giving
Charity
Low Income

Thanks,Viv.

C:
Hmm... It appears that I did pull 3 years at Harvard law, and they seem vaguely familiar. Lets give this a shot...

Richmond/Sunset District - Broadway play with Faye Dunaway?
Salvation Army - The Vatican's Military
Discount - removing the votes of poor people in our national elections
Vintage - The year a wine is made
Giving - A vulgar term, associated with acts of $5000/hr call girls
Charity - That cunt from the Upper West Side. Could you believe that frock she tried to pull off at the symphony last week?
Low Income - I don't speak ebonics

Hope that helped. Air Kisses!
Chadwick

Thoughts on Berlin

C:

So, apparently these are huge in Berlin, since you see guys wearing them all the time. After the third sighting, I pulled my Dior Homme blazer close to my face, hopped on my sherpa, and hightailed it back to the Four Seasons in Mitte where I've baracaded myself ever since. Naturally. Also, do you think it was in poor taste to wear my Galliano Hammer 'n Sickle jumper during my tour of East Berlin? The hungry eyes those proles were giving me, it was like they haven't eaten in weeks. I can relate. You know, being in the country with only the third largest economy in the world really makes you realize how hard it could be and thankful for your own trustfund. As for your souvenier, would you like Potzdamer Platz or Brandenburg Tor? Brandenburg Tor kind of matches your drapes, but it's your choice.